When we look back on the decade from later in life, it will be hard to decide what the most important invention was. What made life better for everyone? What invention changed how I looked at things and truly brought me joy? What invention gave me the volume I have always been looking for but could never achieve? And the answer to all of these questions is obvious.
The bump-it.
(now for all of you who do not understand what a bump-it is, I will provide a brief explanation.)
THIS IS YOU:
(it should be made aware that I used this image from flickr and it is entitled "sad girl cuz of luv") (seriously)
YOU ARE A SAD GIRL. PEOPLE ASSUME YOU ARE SAD BECAUSE OF LOVE BUT IN REALITY, YOU ARE SAD BECAUSE YOUR HAIR LACKS THE VOLUME YOU HAVE ALWAYS DREAMED OF. YOU SIT ON TRAIN TRACKS HOPING TO BE CRUSHED BECAUSE WHAT IS THE POINT OF LIVING WITH YOUR AWFUL HAIR?
This is your life, until one day, where you see an advertisement for a product on TV. This product is the fucking BUMP-IT.
COULD IT BE? HAS GOD SMILED UPON YOU?
You pick up the phone and call to order this product.
In 2 weeks it arrives in the mail.
You remove it, and install it deep in your hair, and finally...you have done it.
Congratulations, it now seems like you might have some disease where your bones didn't form correctly.
Now in all seriousness, I understand that the "poof" is a very popular hairstyle. I don't even pretend to think it looks bad, but ladies, there is a line. And if you order the Bump-it, you are crossing that line, and someone needs to say something.
You look ridiculous, and lets say for a second, some guy decides he actually finds that attractive, when he pulls you in close and runs his fingers through your hair, and feels a sharp plastic object, he will think he is either being Punk'd, or kissing a robot. He will then viciously pummel you, thinking you are the Terminator and you are just trying to kill him.
The moral of the story is, do not buy the Bump-It, or you will be killed for suspicion of being a robot from the future. Or, you will just look like you have an enormous tumor on your skull. Whatever floats your boat.
The bump-it.
(now for all of you who do not understand what a bump-it is, I will provide a brief explanation.)
THIS IS YOU:
(it should be made aware that I used this image from flickr and it is entitled "sad girl cuz of luv") (seriously)
YOU ARE A SAD GIRL. PEOPLE ASSUME YOU ARE SAD BECAUSE OF LOVE BUT IN REALITY, YOU ARE SAD BECAUSE YOUR HAIR LACKS THE VOLUME YOU HAVE ALWAYS DREAMED OF. YOU SIT ON TRAIN TRACKS HOPING TO BE CRUSHED BECAUSE WHAT IS THE POINT OF LIVING WITH YOUR AWFUL HAIR?
This is your life, until one day, where you see an advertisement for a product on TV. This product is the fucking BUMP-IT.
COULD IT BE? HAS GOD SMILED UPON YOU?
You pick up the phone and call to order this product.
In 2 weeks it arrives in the mail.
You remove it, and install it deep in your hair, and finally...you have done it.
Congratulations, it now seems like you might have some disease where your bones didn't form correctly.
Now in all seriousness, I understand that the "poof" is a very popular hairstyle. I don't even pretend to think it looks bad, but ladies, there is a line. And if you order the Bump-it, you are crossing that line, and someone needs to say something.
You look ridiculous, and lets say for a second, some guy decides he actually finds that attractive, when he pulls you in close and runs his fingers through your hair, and feels a sharp plastic object, he will think he is either being Punk'd, or kissing a robot. He will then viciously pummel you, thinking you are the Terminator and you are just trying to kill him.
The moral of the story is, do not buy the Bump-It, or you will be killed for suspicion of being a robot from the future. Or, you will just look like you have an enormous tumor on your skull. Whatever floats your boat.
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