#1: Stickers on fruit.

Okay lets be serious, there has to be a more cost effective and less sticker related way of going about this. You might think to yourself, "I don't really care if there are stickers on my fruit." but you are lying and need to consider therapy. The first problem with stickers on fruit is, it is vandalism. If I were to walk up to your car and put a sticker on it, you would be upset.

Well think of it this way, worms enjoy living in apples, we have seen it in cartoons for years which makes it true, and this is a scientific fact. Consider a worm's feelings when he is looking into living in an apple that has been discarded from a grocery store. He will obviously not want to live in an apple with some obscene sticker on it, he may be a worm, but he still has standards. This is why worms usually inhabit apples directly from the orchard, they see through the bullshit. It is also difficult for them to gain entry to places of business, but this is beside the point.



So maybe you're thinking, "Well that's great but I don't really give a shit about worms or their real estate options." Understandable, so you should keep reading because I'm about to change your life. Imagine this, reader: A world where no apple or banana or pear or other self respecting fruit has to be marred with a sticker. Its possible if we just stop being so goddamn lazy. By now you're asking yourself, "How can I right the wrongs I have committed, Josh? How can I solve the many problems of tiny stickers on fruit?"

I don't know how, I am not a scientist, I am just an inquisitive young man.

Let me also add that when you peel a sticker off of an apple, or other fruit, it sometimes leaves a little adhesive circle from where it was. This is similar to putting duct tape on your skin, and then ripping it off. Do you like that feeling? If the answer is yes then I would like you to please leave my blog right now. If the answer is no, I'd like you to seriously think about what you're doing next time you peel that sticker off of your fruit. Because all you're doing is torturing the fruit before its inevitable consumption AKA death. And that is fucked up.

Try to sleep tonight with that on your head.