This post is fairly obvious and I don't expect to surprise anyone by saying that I FUCKING HATE MOSQUITOES. I don't really hate them based on personality either, I am completely generalizing mosquitoes and saying that I hate them all. I have that kind of conviction at my disposal, and I'll tell you why.
Never have I come home to find a mosquito flying around and thought, "Oh good, I have a companion for which to play video games with and possibly enjoy a good book!" And do you know why? Because the mosquito sees me and thinks, "Oh good, I can annoy the shit out of this guy by trying to suck the blood from his veins."
Which brings me to my next point: Mosquitoes are good for ONE thing, and that is insulting people. Its easy to refer to someone as insignificant and a moocher by equating them to a mosquito. Without mosquitoes, I would have to explain why I didn't like people, while making them feel worthless, in a much longer process. So for that, I thank the mosquito for existing. BUT THAT IS WHERE IT ENDS, MOSQUITO. You've completely worn out your welcome in my life. If I were a bird, or a frog, possibly a fish or a spider, I would really need you in my life, but do you know why?
So I could fucking eat you.
Yep, thats right, your most important contribution to the world is dying. (Unless someone wants a disease, you are often there to help them out with that too.)
But you know what, I'll set aside my hate for mosquitoes because they spread disease, are a useless feeder animal, and try to steal my fucking blood, for one second to talk about possibly an even more rage inducing thing.
MOSQUITOES ARE FUCKING RUDE.
Do you ever ask a mosquito into your house? Do you open a window and say, "Hey bro, come hang out, play some xbox 360 with me, lets chill!?" No. You don't. The mosquito just invites himself into YOUR home, and then proceeds to try to take YOUR blood out of YOUR body. The mosquito has shame. Not only that, but the mosquito will explore your entire house at his leisure. He will fly around in circles and zip in and out of rooms and not give a fuck about your privacy. And to a point, I don't blame the mosquito for being in a bit of a frenzy, he/she is trapped in my house, which is not his/her natural habitat, and he/she lacks the ability to find a way out, but still, if I'm opening a window so you can get the fuck out, you could at least fly out, instead of going in the OPPOSITE direction while I stand there and let more of your mosquito comrades in like its some elaborate scheme to throw a mosquito house party.
Well I have news for you, Mosquito.
I am not letting you out anymore, I've become wise to your little game.
From now on, you have a one way ticket, aboard my palm, destination: the wall.
